The Talk That Saves Lives Masterclass:
How To Talk About Suicide and Keep Your Sanity
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The Talk That Saves Lives
We believe heaven doesn't need another angel. Heaven knows we need them here.
What’s important to know: This guide works with our brains, how our brains really work.
Using a specific reflection technology that activates the mirror neurons in the brain, The Talk builds an emotional buffer around both your loved one, and you. Real magic happens and new neural pathways are created when you have The Talk with someone you care about.
Use the guide verbatim. The questions are written in precise, neutral language. Simply read them exactly as they are written.
Practice first. Read the indented, italicized words out loud and then practice the guide with a friend. You never have to figure out what to say. We’ve done that for you.
Note:
It’s OK to add a relevant demographic description where you see “++”.
i.e.: veteran, teen, senior, LGBTQ, etc.
The Invitation:.
Hi, I’ve joined the mission to end ++ suicide. They gave me a guide.
I need to practice. Would you have a few minutes to help me practice my guide?
Wait for them to respond. It’s great if they want to make a plan for a different time or day. The Talk can be spontaneous or pre-planned. Start with showing appreciation and sharing the rules.
The Talk:
Thank you for agreeing to help me practice my guide. I’m going to be reading it to you so that I don’t miss anything. There are only four questions and one rule.
The rule: For the first three questions, you can only answer “Yes” or “No.” Then on the fourth question, you can tell me as much as you want. Sound good?
Wait for them to agree before you continue reading. Read every word, including the question numbers. It’s important to NEVER wing it when having The Talk. No matter what they say, you only respond by saying: “Thank you” and nothing else until after Question Four.
Thank you. Here we go. Remember, you can only answer “Yes” or “No.”
Question One: Have you heard about the rise in ++ suicides?
Wait for them to respond and say:
Thank you.
Question Two: Do you have a story; do you have a friend who’s tried or died?
Wait for them to respond and remember to say only “Thank you,” nothing more, even if they more than “Yes” or “No”.
Thank you.
Question Three: Have you ever thought of leaving that way? *
Wait for them to respond. Breathe. No matter what they say, respond only with: “Thank you.”
Thank you.
Question Four: Why stay? What are your reasons for staying? **
Smile! Listen. Keep them talking about their reasons for staying by saying:.
Tell me more.
Keep them talking about their reasons for staying by asking:
What else?
Smile even more. Listen. If they start to slow down, add:
Another way to look at it is: What’s so good about your life that you want more of it?
Smile more. Listen more. Resist sharing your own reasons for staying unless they ask you. You'll be witnessing something amazing.
Repeat the "Tell me more" until they stop talking, then respond with:
Thank you. I loved what you shared about _______________________
[insert one of their reasons for staying.]
End with sharing how you feel about them:
Thank you for playing. Thank you for staying.
AND most importantly, thank you for being you and doing what you do. What you do is important, and who you are is AMAZING!
If they ask, tell them about the mission to end suicide and how they can get their own guide, take a free masterclass and find more resources at:
www.TheSuicidePreventionSociety.com
THANK YOU. You’re now part of the solution! We couldn’t save lives without you!
*Note Q3: If they have thoughts of leaving, don’t panic. Thoughts of leaving are normal.
**Note Q4: If they have thoughts of leaving and zero reasons for staying, please STAY WITH THEM and call 988 or your local suicide intervention hotline. If they refuse to talk to an intervention specialist, call 911 or your local emergency number. Yes, they may hate you for it, and it may save their life.
***Important: Out of 1,000s of talks, the number of times someone has had the combination of thoughts of leaving and zero reasons for staying is ZERO. Our brains are hardwired to answer questions. This means that your loved one’s brain will come up with reasons for staying when you ask Question Four. It has to, we’re just wired that way. Every answer they give builds a bigger buffer between them and an edge they may not have even known they were near. Even if they’re making up the reasons or outright lying, their subconscious mind is hearing them speak: “reasons for staying.”
If you would like to have us talk on how to create more optimism and hope by breaking the silence, click the button: “ASK FOR A SPEAKER” at:
The Suicide Prevention Society is a d.b.a. of Teen Suicide Prevention Society, Inc.
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